Fairness Beyond Equality: Why Equity Is Key to a Just Society

In the four decades of my life, and over two in corporate experience, I have witnessed and experienced the impact of various biases and prejudices. While I have dealt with misogynistic or sexist bosses, clients and co-workers, I have also encountered opportunists who have taken advantage of such situations and climbed the ladder faster than anyone else. It is disheartening to see how these experiences have shaped our perceptions of fairness, equity, and equality. But I have also experienced extremely just, fair and kind bosses, clients and co-workers, some who went by in silence and others who stood for these values and spoke up when they saw injustice. Similar patterns are visible in institutions, housing societies, political organisations and even, not surprisingly, homes. 

The difference between equity and equality is often overlooked in our society. While equality is the idea of treating everyone the same, equity is about ensuring that everyone has access to the same opportunities and resources to achieve the same outcomes. The problem with the concept of equality is that it assumes that everyone starts from the same place, which is far from the truth. The truth is that many people, especially those from marginalised communities, do not have the same access to resources, opportunities, and networks that others do.

As a result, the concept of equality has become a double-edged sword. While it aims to promote fairness, it has also led people to believe that everyone should be treated the same, even when their circumstances are vastly different. This has created a sense of entitlement among some segments of society, who feel that they are entitled to the same opportunities and resources, regardless of their situation. This sense of entitlement has, in turn, led to a lack of empathy and understanding for those who are less privileged.

Today, almost every segment of class, caste, creed, and gender calls themselves a victim. It seems that the focus is more on disproving real issues that need advocacy, while spending all effort trying to prove them wrong. This mindset has led to a lack of awareness and empathy for those who are actually victims of discrimination and bias. Instead of acknowledging and addressing their concerns, we are quick to dismiss them as being overly sensitive or overly emotional. .

At the same time, a certain privileged category of people raises their hands up and makes conclusions on their narrow reality that no such issues exist at all and that people 'choose' to live with their problems. This is a dangerous perspective to have because it perpetuates the idea that those who are struggling are responsible for their own problems. It absolves society of any responsibility for addressing systemic issues that perpetuate inequality and discrimination. Yesterday I came across a viral post of a man which two of my contacts reposted on Instagram, in which the guy interviews some female Ukrainian youth with the question as to why it was ok for females to leave the country in war while no male 18 years and older were allowed to and had to fight in war. He called them privileged, but worse was the tags and text post on this video which said 'the very foundation a woman stands upon, is built on the lives of sacrificial men' calling it a 'feminocentric society'. I'm not against his advocacy to raise awareness on male atrocities (never-mind that it is largely men who decide war and make rules on who leaves and stays), but why then say things to judge women and I quote them, "if you're a Ukrainian woman, you get to go to Stockholm, you get to go to Great Britain - You get to continue your HOT GIRL summer."

We need to acknowledge that our society is not fair or equitable. It is riddled with biases and prejudices that have been ingrained in us for generations. We cannot simply ignore these issues or dismiss them as being unimportant. We need to have the courage to confront them head-on and work towards building a more inclusive and equitable society.

To do this, we need to start by listening to different points of view. We need to have open and honest conversations about the challenges that people face and the solutions that can help address them. We need to move beyond our own biases and perspectives and try to understand the experiences of others. Share your views without negating the views of others.

We also need to be more empathetic and compassionate towards those who are struggling. We need to recognise that everyone has their own struggles and challenges, and we need to be there to support and uplift one another. This means being willing to lend a helping hand, offering support and resources, and advocating for policies and practices that promote equity and inclusion.

In conclusion, we need to recognise that we are a selfish and self-centred generation that has lost its ability to care for others or even listen to different points of view. We need to work towards building a more inclusive and equitable society, one where everyone has access to the same opportunities and resources to achieve their goals. This requires us to be more empathetic, compassionate, and open-minded, to confront our biases and prejudices, and to work together towards a better future. Only then can we truly create a society that is fair and just for all. 

Equity vs. Equality: Why Fairness Is More Than Treating Everyone the Same
Picture credits: Canva text to image

Double Standards

A man can have a bad day,

And simply take it in stride,

He'll grab a beer or hop on his bike,

And let the stress subside.

But a woman's bad day is different,

She's judged for her mood and behaviour,

And criticised for not being herself,

As if she's done a great disfavour.

A man can be tired from work,

Driving, meetings, and more,

But he comes home to a clean house,

And a meal waiting at the door.

A woman also works and studies hard,

But before she can even rest,

She's cooking, cleaning, doing laundry,

And still trying to give her best.

A man can hold meetings anywhere,

Without being questioned or stopped,

But a woman must hurry home,

And not leave her family dropped.

Men can delegate with ease,

While women are delegated to,

And when someone does help them out,

They feel obligated to say "thank you."

Women must always be gentle,

No matter how they're being treated,

But men can act macho and strong,

And their behaviour is often repeated.

Yet today's world is changing,

With women as breadwinners too,

Balancing work and responsibilities,

Without giving up what they must do.

Men pursue their dreams with ease,

Without sacrificing their role,

While others take on the burden,

To ensure their dreams stay whole.

But equity is what we strive for,

To level the playing field,

Where both men and women are valued,

And their contributions revealed. 

There's a Metaphor is this one for Everyone!

What I'm about to describe may seem mundane and irrelevant, but stay tuned!  I rarely paint my nails - I attribute it to never being as 'girly' to want to do it and also to the fact that I cook a lot and don't like toxic chips of polish getting chopped into my food.  Either ways, you'd think then that I wouldn't have a vast collection of nail paint bottles. But that isn't quite so as I discovered yesterday.  I needed to find some time for myself - some peace of mind and something to submerge myself in; so I dug into my dresser and found the huge vanity case in which I stored my nail paints.  It was a little dusty and as I pulled it out I realised it was really heavy. Why? Curious, I opened it and realised that over the last few years I had accumulated quite a few of these tiny glass bottles; some out of compulsive shopping at the marts, some because I needed a particular colour to go with a certain dress on an annual event. 

Here's an Idea for You

In what areas of life have you made investments (time, resources, effort, emotions, etc.) that you felt would be worthwhile at the moment and later forgot about or never went back to? How many of these are intentional and how many purely due to poor management?

Defining Idea

“All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams.” – Elias Canetti, Swiss Author

Now here's where it got interesting.... I tried thinking of the last time I used some of these paints - and couldn't recall. Even today, as I thought about which colour enamel I wanted on my nails, it was the more current, recent bottles that I found myself going for.  It was a good day, in terms of time – plenty to spare since I couldn’t focus on anything else anyway. I told myself that I had two choices 1) as always, pick a colour that pleases me today and bring out the artist in me, 2) once and for all sort this case of colours and get rid of all these ugly bottles that have probably gone rotten inside and lighten the load.

The newer collection

I went with the latter. I first started out by laying a sheet of paper on my bed and turned out the entire case to spill the bottles on it.  ‘Oh my goodness!! I have so many nail paints! For someone who doesn’t paint her nails very often that sure is a lot! I wonder if Kim Kardashian has a whole wardrobe filled with these tiny bottles.’ I had planned to sort them in two categories – keep and throw. But as I began sorting, I found myself almost willingly not putting any into the ‘throw’ side of the bed and instead created a pseudo category ‘maybe’. By the end of the sorting I had three piles – keep, maybe and unsorted! None were going!! This was confusing. So I’m actually saying that I have all these paints that are both usable and perfectly fine but I haven’t used them and just bought newer ones instead and now lost inclination to go back to them?  This wasn’t good!

Here's an Idea for You

Have you made the time to clean up lately? When you have, are you among those who would rather replace than work on fixing?

Defining Idea

“If you’re too busy to build good systems, then you’ll always be too busy” – Brian Logue

Why is it that in all these years (6 to be precise, because it was a collection of nail paints only since my marriage) I hadn’t once revisited some of the nail paints which I had surely procured for a reason? Why is it that in all the time in between, I hadn’t thought about doing this exercise? Perhaps I could have reused them earlier had I sorted them out before. The last time I did something similar is before my wedding, because I had to move houses and belongings. 

Here's an Idea for You

Do we require life altering events to make some important changes which aren’t truly dependent on these events anyway?  Priority-wise how much scope do we have for better resource management if we allocate planned and better time to it? Do you change before you 'have to'?

Defining Idea

“One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up, instead of what they have to gain” – Rick Godwin

Older collection

Getting back to the three piles of nail paint bottles I had in front of me.  This sorting wasn’t working.  So I decided to use another method – the litmus test of nail paints – the thinness test.  I opened each bottle and checked the consistency of the nail paints. I was so sure that I’d lose at least half of them with this method.  So I started with the newest and put them all in the safe zone.  They’re new! Obviously I remember the reasons I bought them and the PRICE I paid for them – too precious to throw.  Then I went through the older lot… one by one… opening each bottle after a vigorous shake and checking if the paint was thin or thick – hoping that it was sticky or even dried up so it would go straight in the bin. But, to my surprise – every single bottle was worth being used at a nail spa! Great consistency, still smooth, not split and almost entire bottles full of paint. OUCH!! Now what?

Dust and mold on the bottle

I took a moment to think about what made me not go back to these paints every time I opened my vanity case for picking a colour?  Was it that the colours were outdated now? True for around 15% of them. What about the rest? Had any of them proved bad for my nails? True for around 5% of them. For the other 80% I realised that the only thing that prevented them being used is that they lost appeal purely from their exterior, not interior. Huh?? Whose fault was that? They looked perfectly fine when I purchased them. They still have the same qualities to get the job done.  So I was responsible for this? YES. Keeping them unused had caused the outer prints to get oxidized. In some cases there was dust and mold under the rims of the lids on the bottle and some just had some hardened paint from spills on the outsides which made them look unappealing. I hadn’t taken the time to clean these ever! 

The unsaveable lot

I dropped everything down, put on my floaters, grabbed an umbrella and some cash and went to the store to buy a bottle of acetone and a bottle of spirit. The acetone would help me thin some of the paints that were still good, but could use some thinning to last another couple of years. Spirit would help get the outside clean and disinfected. Half an hour later, I had some fabulous looking, top quality bottles that looked fresh off the shelf. And the 20% that hadn’t passed the test? – I got rid of them.

Here's an Idea for You

Identifying quality resources and focusing your energy on working on only these is absolutely essential, but do you have a process that works well in identifying these? Is it fool-proof? These processes are time consuming, but save a whole lot of time and costs in the future. They also give you an accurate estimation of your assets.

Defining Idea

“I’m convinced that nothing we do is more important than hiring and developing people. At the end of the day you bet on people, not strategies” – Lawrence Bossidy, GE

The outcome – I have a lighter, better-organized, all ready-to-use and almost feels-like-new range of nail paints waiting for me to use them more often.  It actually has me excited to paint my nails at least once a fortnight from now on! And, I have space for my nail paint removers, cotton wool and manicure set in the same case (which I didn’t before). But here’s the best part, and my biggest eye opener – After I had all my nail paints ready to go back in the case, the case now looked dirty, dull and like it needed a good cleaning itself in comparison. And you know what? I would never have thought about that had the nail paints in this management system not looked so fresh and new. 

Oh and I figured that Kim Kardashian wouldn't own a wardrobe of nail paints - she would just leave that to the nail spas! But I'll leave that topic of lean resource management for another day :)

Here's an Idea for You

Management systems that hold, lead and manage resources are only as good as the resources they manage. Do you feel great about being current because the resources you manage aren’t as current? How often do you challenge your own potential? Are you open to challenge or do you see it as a threat?

Defining Idea

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, you need a good team.” – John Wooden

“If you get the culture right, most of the other stuff will just take care of itself.” – Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.com

A Bucket Full of Happiness

Life is a long journey, a journey with many stop-overs, many fuel-ups required, many break-downs but yet the destination - the climax, keeps us on the path.  The best part of a journey are the pleasant things you pick up complimentary along the way - sweet nothings, a memorable sight, an unforgettable conversation, or just the speed.

No journey can be compared to another, every journey even to the same destination has a different experience. Sometimes you travel alone, sometimes you have company. Even when in company, each person's experience is so different, each one's expectations are different too.  So what makes a journey happy or unhappy for a person? Is it the experiences or circumstances to a person at the time, is it the expectations they have of what they wish to experience, is it the company they have, or is it mere destiny that decides this too?

A wise man once told me "Every memory you form in your lifetime helps you create new expectations." If that's true, then every expectation is based on experiences and so it's the experiences I have or don't have that are responsible for my journey to make me happy or unhappy, right?  But the funny thing is I can only experience to know, and if knowing makes me look back instead of forward maybe we're just build wrong? Maybe, life's journey isn't about looking for happiness. Maybe life itself is happiness and the experiences life bring just take us to our destination with buckets full of memories so that we can think about how much of the happiness we were born with, did we share along our journey!

"Miracle Child" - A poem dedicated to my unborn

Oh what thrill, oh what joy!
The love of a mother's heart knows no bounds,
I know not yet girl or boy.

From that moment I whispered in God's own ear,
"If be thy will, then so be it now, here..."
This mother's heart your creation aware,
Dreamed day and night your miracle to bare.

When the time was right and hope turned to doubt,
I stared at the stick; two bars to turn out,
Skipped a beat, a tear in my eye
Called Daddy dear who wasn't nearby.

That blessed moment forever we'll cherish
When gifted we felt, a joy none can perish.
For a gift you are; a gift of God's love,
A sign of a miracle from Jesus above!

The wait now begins; forty weeks with you in,
Your face for a glimpse is all I dream and imagine.
Three months though in agony, all trials I'll overcome,
An addition to us, Dad and I look to welcome.

Now the moment is near, our voices you hear,
Every loved one awaits to hold you, my dear!
But take your sweet time, a lifetime we have,
To love and adore you, to rejoice and be glad.